Daniel Im

Pastor + Author

you are what you do

Underneath the Surface of Disney’s Hit Song, “We Don’t Talk About Bruno”

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Over the past month, have you caught yourself singing a song about Bruno?

Or, I guess to put it more accurately, not talking about Bruno? Because of the enormous popularity of “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” from Disney’s 2021 film, Encanto, this song has stayed on the Top 10 Billboard chart for weeks in several countries.

Now the purpose for this article isn’t to talk about the “magic” in this movie (and to go down that rabbit hole). Rather, it’s to address the ways that the songs and themes in this movie are actually perpetuating lies about our identity—and feeding us (and our children) lies about ourselves.

When I wrote You Are What You Do: And Six Other Lies About Work, Life, and Love, I was attempting to shine a spotlight on seven different lies about our identity—and how to discover the truth on the other side. Now the thing about these lies is that they don’t actually seem harmful on the surface—they just seem more of a matter of fact than anything. But when you dig underneath the surface, and begin unpacking how these lies are shaping your relationships, your understanding of self, and your emotional, physical, and spiritual health…you start realizing that these lies aren’t as harmless as they appear to be.

Now just to be clear, “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” is musical genius. My family and I couldn’t stop listening to the song because it’s so catchy, fun, and mesmerizing musically. But the more I listened to the song, the more I realized that it was the music and not the lyrics that I fell in love with.

Why shouldn’t the family talk about Bruno? Why is it okay to expel someone from the family? Why don’t people know the actual reason he was ex-communicated? And how in the world can someone survive in the walls of a house?! (Sorry for the spoiler).

I recognize that yes, this is just a movie, but could songs like this be unintentionally feeding our children lies about their identity like “you are what you do” and “you are your past”?

In the movie, we see that Abuela, the matriarch of the family, had cultivated a culture where lies like those ones were the core source of everyone’s identity. Because of her past—both the death of her husband and the way her house came to be—her whole family was living proof that “you are your past.” And when you consider the way that everything revolved around an individual’s gift, what other message than “you are what you do” was being communicated to the one with the gift and everyone around them? No wonder Mirabel’s sister, Luisa, was crumbling under the surface from the pressure placed on her.

Oh and let’s not forget the lie that made the hit song, “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” possible! Because Abuela believed the lie that “you are who you raise,” there was no way she could allow Bruno to reflect back on her in anyway…hence the reason no one talks about Bruno!

So What?

Friends, this is why I wrote You Are What You Do: And Six Other Lies About Work, Life, and Love. I wrote it to help us recognize the lies that our culture is subtly feeding us about ourselves. The book—and this article—are not indictments to boycott this movie or our culture. Rather, they are pleas to become more discerning about what messages we’re subtly listening to and letting shape who we are and how we live, work, and love.

If you haven’t yet picked up a copy of the book, I’d be honored if you would do so either by going to Amazon or checking out my book page to learn more about it.

Why Job Loss Hurts So Much

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Why do we identify so much with our jobs?

Why do we even care about titles, designations, name plates, bios, and the letters after our names? And why does it hurt so deeply when all of it gets taken away?

Whether it’s your part-time job, a side gig, an in-between sort of thing, or your life’s work—it’s like a punch in the gut when you lose your job and it all gets taken away. And due to COVID-19 and the dismal unemployment rate, it’s happened to way too many people this past year.

If you’ve lost a loved one or experienced the end of a relationship, you might be familiar with the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance…

…but have you ever considered that these stages might also apply to you if you’ve lost your job?

11 years ago, I remember getting a phone call from my boss. He didn’t specify why he wanted me to come to his office, nor was it even a regularly scheduled time to connect. He just told me to be there that Wednesday afternoon.

Now if it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit and all the ways that He had been nudging me that change was on the horizon, I probably would’ve died from worry while I was waiting for that meeting. Instead, I decided to turn my eyes upon Jesus, rather than my circumstances, and pray for the peace of God that transcends all understanding to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).

“I am not what I do. My identity is not my job. And though others may fail me, God I pray that you would be the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Even though I was earnestly praying such prayers, it still hit me like a ton of bricks when my boss told me that I was fired. I went from being a pastor at one of the largest churches in the world to a room in my parent’s house—only this time I wasn’t alone. My wife and newborn child were with me.

Over the next several days, weeks, and months, I was a wreck as I found myself walking through the stages of grief. I would go from expectant hope that God had a plan behind all of this, to the depths of depression questioning my manhood. I knew that “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28 NLT), but did I really believe that God was for me and not against me (Romans 8:31)?

I didn’t realize it at the time, but God was using these circumstances to destroy the lie that I had come to believe—that I am what I do.

This lie is fed to us from a young age. Here’s how I descrbie it in my book, You Are What You Do: And Six Other Lies about Work, Life, and Love:

As children, we’re asked what we want to do when we grow up. As adults, we’re asked what we do for work. And at the end of our lives, we’re measured by what we’ve done. It’s not surprising, then, that we believe the lie that we are what we do. It seems to be the primary way that we ascribe value and worth onto one another—and ourselves….
No wonder we over-identify ourselves with our jobs—we’ve been conditioned to do so, both from within and from without. So to satisfy both our internal craving for meaning and our external drive for a particular quality of life, we look for the perfect job. A job that boosts our self-image and also pays the bills. And if the latter is lacking, no worries— that’s why the gig economy exists. An extra gig here or side hustle there never hurt anyone, right?

As children, we’re asked what we want to do when we grow up. As adults, we’re asked what we do for work. And at the end of our lives, we’re measured by what we’ve done.
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Even though everything within me was shouting, “GO AND FIND A JOB. GO AND DO,” when I finally humbled myself, laid down my hurt ego, and came to God, I sensed Him say to me, “Just be. Surrender. Trust me.”

Friends, if you find yourself in a similar circumstance, I wonder if Jesus is wanting to do the same thing in you?

I wonder if He’s wanting to use what you’re going through to break down the lie that you might’ve come to believe about work? That you are what you do? And to strip away the identity that you might’ve placed in your titles, designations, name plates, bios, and the letters after your name?

What if God is using what you’re going through to break down the lie that you’ve come to believe about work?
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Instead of striving for that promotion, that dream job, or maybe just any job, what if you took the next couple of minutes, hours, or days to respond to the words of Jesus in Matthew 11:28-30 CSB?

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Friends, you are not what you do. You are a child of God and that’s enough.

*My article here was originally published on April 29, 2021 on Impactus.

My Interview on 100 Huntley Street

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I was honoured to be interviewed today by Lara Watson on Canada’s longest running daily TV show, and the sixth longest running daily TV show in the world, 100 Huntley Street.

I pray that today’s episode encourages you by helping you identify any lies you might have mistakenly come to believe about yourself.

You can watch the episode here:

If you would like to learn more about my book, You Are What You Do: And Six Other Lies about Work, Life, and Love that Lara interviewed me on in today’s episode, click here.

2020 in a Single Word = ________

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What word would you use to sum up 2020?

When you’re sitting down with your not-yet-born children, grandchildren, or great grandchildren, what are you going to say about 2020? And when you read through the not-yet-written history books outlining the COVID-19/coronavirus global pandemic of 2020, what lens will you be looking through? What word will you be searching for?

Unprecedented?

Interruption?

Change?

Pivot?

In 2020, according to Google, the phrase “Why?” was searched more than ever before:

  • Why is the NBA postponed?
  • Why is Parasite so good?
  • Why am I so tired?
  • Why are schools closed?
  • Why is toilet paper sold out?
  • Why is March so long?
  • Why is Australia burning?
  • Why is the sky orange?
  • Why are so many people dying?
  • Why is empathy important?
  • Why are people protesting?
  • Why do black lives matter?
  • Why are we not defeated?
  • Why is the election so divisive?
  • Why is democracy important?
  • Why do people dream?

For me, the word of 2020 is LOSS.

This past year was a year of loss.

2020 was filled with more loss than anyone should ever experience—not just in a year, but in a lifetime:

  • The loss of life
  • The loss of health
  • The loss of jobs
  • The loss of finances
  • The loss of stability
  • The loss of normal
  • The loss of in-person
  • The loss of touch
  • The loss of trust
  • …and for many the loss of hope

Underneath the surface of the earth, there are cracks (or fault lines) everywhere.

Although they’re not necessarily visible to the eye, they are there. And it’s only when there’s an earthquake, that we realize what’s been there all along underneath the surface—the cracks.

Well, for many, 2020 was the year where we came face to face with the cracks in our lives.

2020 was the year where we came face to face with the cracks in our lives.
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The “earthquake” of this global pandemic, its shutdowns, and its ensuing effects revealed what was already there underneath the surface all along—the cracks:

  • The cracks in your marriage
  • The cracks in the way you deal with stress
  • The cracks in your family relationships
  • The cracks at work
  • The cracks in your finances
  • The cracks in your faith
  • …and the cracks in your identity

Everything that you used to place your identity in—when things were “normal”—was shaken, tested, and (for some) stripped away this past year:

  • If you lost your job and felt unrooted, it’s because you believe the lie that “you are what you do”
  • If your vacation plans were interrupted and you threw yourself a pity party, it’s because you believe the lie that “you are what you experience”
  • If the loss of in-person gatherings with friends, at work, with family, at church, or wherever else for that matter, sunk you into a deep hole of depression, it’s because you believe the lie that “you are who you know”
  • If you were incessantly searching for COVID-19 stats, obsessing over the news, or found yourself chasing after any one of the countless number of conspiracy theories from this past year, it’s because you believe the lie that “you are what you know”
  • If you were hoarding toilet paper, or found yourself shopping on Amazon way more than you usually do, it’s because you believe the lie that “you are what you own”
  • If you were humble bragging over your ability to simultaneously teach your children and work at home, or refused to post anything because your kids were on electronics all day long, it’s because you believe the lie that “you are who you raise”
  • If you were, and are still, trying your darnedest to get back to the way things used to be before COVID-19 because life was better back then, it’s because you believe the lie that “you are your past”

Friends, none of this is supposed to shame you or give you a guilt trip…

…but if you found yourself nodding to any of the previous bullet points (like me) it’s because 2020 merely revealed the cracks that were already there underneath the surface.

Everything that you used to place your identity in—when things were “normal”—was shaken, tested, and (for some) stripped away this past year.
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The point of this article is to simply help you uncover what is, so that you can move forward in 2021 to what will be:

A life that is not characterized by the loss that comes when we live bound to the chains of these lies, but a life that is free and full when we replace these lies with the truth of who we really are.

So in 2021, I want to invite you into a journey of discovering which of these seven lies you’ve lived according to and how to lay them down by reading my book, You Are What You Do: And Six Other Lies About Work, Life, and Love. In my book, I carefully unpack the many ways we often believe each of these seven lies, the unintended consequences when we live according to them, and how to break free from them.

Let’s together choose a life of resistance.

The kind of resistance that opts for love over hate, light over darkness, forgiveness over shame, and generosity over greed.

The kind of resistance that uncovers who we aren’t, so that we can begin the journey of discovering who we really are.

And the kind of resistance that begins with the truth that you are not what you do, you are not what you experience, you are not who you know, you are not what you know, you are not what you own, you are not who you raise, and you are not your past.

I will choose a life of resistance. The kind of resistance that opts for love over hate, light over darkness, forgiveness over shame, and generosity over greed.
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You Are What You Do – Audiobook

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As a podcaster, recording an audiobook was such a fun experience. If you find that you don’t have the time to sit down and read, I know that you’ll love listening to the truths inside of my newest book.

If you aren’t already on Audible, click here to get a free trial and download my audiobook for free. Otherwise, click here to see all the different ways you can grab a copy of the book (paperback, kindle, or audible).

Here’s the summary of You Are What You Do: And Six Other Lies About Work, Life, and Love

The way that we’ve done things for centuries has been unsettled and unseated. We’re living in a new normal. And while on the surface many of these changes look like the next best thing, there’s actually a complex and fragile web of lies holding it all together:

You are what you do
You are what you experience
You are who you know
You are what you know
You are what you own
You are who you raise
You are your past

In You Are What You Do, author and Pastor Daniel Im considers these seven lies and the context that causes them to flourish. Through personable stories, research, and pastoral insight, Daniel will show you how to recognize these everyday lies in your life so that you can discover the truth on the other side. The truth that leads to freedom. The truth that moves you from surviving to thriving. The truth that will unlock a life of purpose, adventure, meaning, and destiny.