Pastor + Author
Do you challenge them? Appease them? Or abandon them?
Here’s a video teaching that I did on this topic from my book, The Discipleship Opportunity: Leading a Great-Commission Church in a Post-Everything World.
If you would like to dig deeper into this topic, check out chapter 6 of The Discipleship Opportunity, where I unpack—not only what we can do with the consumers in our churches—but how we can preach and speak to them too.
The implication of this is that we’ve all been shaped into perpetual consumers conditioned to expect comfort, convenience, and choice everywhere we go and in all that we do.
As a result, it’s no surprise that this ethos has also seeped into the church.
Just consider this powerful insight on this dilemma from Eugene Peterson’s Working the Angles: The Shape of Pastoral Integrity,
If I receive my primary social identity as a consumer, it follows that my primary expectation of the people I meet is that I get something from them for which I am prepared to pay a price. I buy merchandise from the department store, health from the physician, legal power from the lawyer. Does it not follow that in this kind of society my parishioner will have commercialized expectations of me? None of the honored professions has escaped commercialization, so why should the pastorate? This has produced in our time the opprobrious practice of pastors manipulating their so-called flocks on the same principles that managers use to run supermarkets.
The pastors of America have metamorphosed into a company of shopkeepers, and the shops they keep are churches. They are preoccupied with shopkeeper’s concerns— how to keep the customers happy, how to lure customers away from competitors down the street, how to package the goods so that the customers will lay out more money.
Gosh. No wonder it’s so easy to slip into viewing upset congregants as “customers,” and then as “shopkeepers” to become consumed with “shopkeeper’s concerns—how to keep the customers happy, how to lure customers away from competitors down the street, how to package the goods so that the customers will lay out more money.”
When I was writing The Discipleship Opportunity, there was one chapter in particular that was both the easiest to write and the most convicting for me personally. It was the one where I addressed this spirit of consumerism in the church.
On the one hand, it was the easiest chapter to write because I’ve seen and experienced how the spirit of consumerism has infected and afflicted the church, first-hand. From the way people judge and evaluate our ministries and programs, to how critical people can be about coffee, to how some people can be more focused on our song selection and volume levels than on Jesus, and to the positive, negative, and passive aggressive emails that I get about my sermons, as a pastor it’s so easy to slip into the culturally expected role of being a “shopkeeper.”
On the other hand, writing this chapter was the most convicting because God helped me realize that as much as our congregation may act as “customers” and thereby try to force me into becoming a “shopkeeper” (which I am actually pretty good at doing because I have a lot of previous work experience doing just that), this is incredibly dangerous because it is pastoral malpractice. Our congregations aren’t customers—they are sheep. And as pastors, we aren’t shopkeepers—we are shepherds.
If you view your congregation as customers, it’s easy to either adopt a philosophy where you act like Disney or the Ritz-Carlton, striving to meet their consumeristic needs at all costs, OR act like the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld and say—perhaps too often—”No soup for you!”
But the fact of the matter is that our congregation aren’t customers. They are sheep! And sometimes sheep bite.
Early on, when I got my first scar bite from a fellow sheep (and this wasn’t when I was a pastor), my natural inclination was to get away from others and try to follow Jesus alone. But as it’s so clearly outlined throughout the Scriptures, we can’t actually follow Christ alone. And we can’t actually experience God’s love as he intends for us to unless we learn to love others. “Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we also must love one another.” (1 John 4:11 CSB)
And as a pastor, as I have nursed and bandaged the many scar bites that I’ve received from the sheep that God has entrusted me to shepherd, I have many times wanted to throw and kick those sheep to the curb, yelling “No soup for you!!” In fact, that’s why I wanted to originally title the chapter “Screw the Consumers.” (In the end, my publisher won the discussion, and I went with their suggestion, “Challenging the Consumers.”)
But as I’ve reflected on our calling as Christians, and my calling as a pastor, I have realized that, as much as sheep might bite, we are called to shepherd and challenge the sheep who are in our care. To remind them of who they are in Christ. To remind them of our holy calling in Christ. And to remember that:
So, friends, let’s remember that our congregation aren’t consumers. They are sheep. And sometimes sheep bite. And thanks be to God that we have a great and good shepherd who promises to be with us as we lead the flocks that he has entrusted to our care (Psalm 23).
To dig deeper into this content, see chapter 6 of my book, The Discipleship Opportunity: Leading a Great-Commission Church in a Post-Everything World.
(This is a talk that I gave to our staff at Beulah Alliance Church, elaborating on our Healthy leadership virtue)
For most of us, unforgiveness is perceived as a black-and-white issue. You’ve either forgiven someone or you haven’t. You’ve either said, “I forgive you,” or perhaps, in not so many words, “Screw you.”
But unforgiveness is much more nuanced than saying a few words.
Consider how The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines unforgiving,
And here’s how The Oxford Dictionary defines unforgiving,
Those definitions are insightful because I think all of us have—at some point in our lives—said words that we really didn’t mean. Like when someone asks you, “How are you doing?” How many of you have ever said, “Fine or okay,” but you really weren’t doing fine or okay?
I know I have.
And it wasn’t because I wanted to lie…it’s just because I really didn’t want to get into it at that point…or with that person.
Or, regarding the Florida Panthers beating the Edmonton Oilers, I wonder how many Oilers fans said the nice Canadian thing to speak to someone else, “There’s always next year!” Or, “It’s just hockey.”
When in fact, deep down inside, you were thinking, “I HATE THE PANTHERS. Why in the world does a place like Florida have, not just one hockey team, but two?! I wish Bobrovsky would just get sick or retire!”
“Yes, I forgive you…but I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR UGLY FACE AGAIN.”
“Yes, I forgive you…But YOU WILL NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE.”
“Yes, I forgive you…But I WILL NEVER PRAY FOR YOU AGAIN.”
Anyone?
I know I have.
But forgiving someone else isn’t just saying the words; it’s actually when your feelings toward them shift from anger to an emotion that feels more neutral. From criticism and contempt to graciously giving them the benefit of the doubt when they make a mistake.
This is why Jesus said, “But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do what is good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If anyone hits you on the cheek, offer the other also. And if anyone takes away your coat, don’t hold back your shirt either.” (Luke 6:27-29 CSB)
As disciples of Jesus, we aren’t called to forgive only once, nor seven times, but seventy-seven times or seventy times seven times (Matthew 18:22).
Now the reason isn’t just so that we can be known as friendly people…or because of the importance of unity for our witness, or because unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
No, Jesus actually gives us a deeper reason for forgiveness after he finishes teaching his disciples the Lord’s prayer, where he instructs us to pray, “forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors”:
🫳🏼🎤 (that’s a mic drop emoji if you didn’t pick up on it) 😂😁
At Beulah Alliance Church, here’s how our Healthy leadership virtue is expressed: “We pray for and with one another, give each other the benefit of the doubt, and refuse to hold grudges because as spiritually, emotionally, and relationally healthy Christ followers, we are together on mission.”
Team, we can’t expect to be on mission with one another if we are still holding grudges against people we have supposedly “forgiven” with our words.
We can’t expect to be on mission together if we aren’t willing to give one another the benefit of the doubt.
And we can’t expect to be on mission together if we aren’t willing to pray for one another (Because if you’ve ever prayed for someone who hurt you, you know how hard that is).
Let’s start our small group time together in silent prayer around those three areas. Then I’ll let you know when we can begin discussing these questions together.
Discussion Questions:
On the one hand, we’re encouraged to rate and review everything—our favourite restaurants, businesses, workouts, books, podcasts, shows, and even professors and doctors! In fact, not only are we encouraged, but we’re even incentivized to do so! But at the same time, we’re also drowning in criticism, contempt, and a wildfire of seemingly knee-jerk reactions and poorly thought-out opinions to tweets, rumours, and news articles—both real and fake.
Hmm…I wonder if there’s a connection?
When Jesus said, “Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged,” was this what he was referring to? Was he warning us about the perils of five-star ratings, and industries built upon crowd sourcing reviews? Or was he perhaps talking about all of the subtle—and also overt—ways that we pass judgement onto others? Like, “I can’t believe they parked like that! How inconsiderate.” Or, “What a show off. What is he trying to prove posting that on the internet?”
It’s the latter!
When Jesus said “Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged,” he’s referring to all of the ways that we judge others through our thoughts, our ensuing facial reactions, or the words that come out of our mouths. He’s talking about the tendency that we have to often criticize, condemn, find fault with, or think that we’re higher or better than others—especially when we’re “hangry” or tired.
Let’s take a look at the whole passage,
Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged. For you will be judged by the same standard with which you judge others, and you will be measured by the same measure you use. Why do you look at the splinter in your brother’s eye but don’t notice the beam of wood in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the splinter out of your eye,’ and look, there’s a beam of wood in your own eye? Hypocrite! First take the beam of wood out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the splinter out of your brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:1-5 CSB)
Note that I said “reasonable to think to yourself,” and not “reasonable to do.” Going to an extreme like this is not the way to live out Jesus’ command to “Judge not.”
I love how the theologian and pastor, John Stott, explains this passage,
To sum up, the command to judge not is not a requirement to be blind, but rather a plea to be generous. Jesus does not tell us to cease to be men (by suspending our critical powers which help to distinguish us from animals) but to renounce the presumptuous ambition to be God (by setting ourselves up as judges).
Oh how we often fall into this trap!
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve caught myself—mid-sentence—yelling at my kids to stop yelling at each other. When we judge others like this, we’re hypocrites. We’re near-sighted hypocrites who don’t realize that we’re pointing out the splinter in another’s eye, while we ourselves have a beam of wood in ours!
…what do you think would happen if you paused and first asked yourself, “When have I been guilty of this myself?” And then went to the cross and spent time in prayer for yourself and for the other person, instead of judgement?
Friends, let’s judge not!
If, as a church, we could focus on something or some thing(s) for the next 50 years, what would make the greatest difference? And when Jesus taught us to pray, “May your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” what efforts do you think he had in mind?
Recently, Timothy Keller wrote a series of four articles that are a must-read for every Christian pastor and leader on The Decline and Renewal of the American Church:
I urge you to take the time to read all four. It will probably take a good hour to read and process all of them, but it’ll be worth your time. Keller is a gift to the church.
Now when it comes to that something or those some thing(s) to focus on for the next 50 years, here are a list of eight projects that Keller is inviting us to consider. The following are his words, not mine from his fourth article:
This project list is not final. God will lead the leaders to his will for them. And this list which I put forward for consideration was given in the third article. For reader convenience here it is again with somewhat fuller descriptions.
Is God calling you to focus on one of these eight? If you could focus on something for the next 50 years—and give all of your best thought, focus, resources, and energy toward that one thing—what would it be?