Daniel Im

Pastor + Author

Life

The Most Important Question When Discerning Your Next Steps

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Not making the decision isn’t the issue. The issue is not even having the option of making the decision.

It’s not that I don’t like double negatives, it’s just that they can sometimes be tricky to navigate—much like decision making. And boy, was this last year ever a year for decision making.

Five years ago, when we moved down to Nashville to serve the Church in her mission of making disciples with LifeWay Leadership, I never thought we’d be back up in Canada this soon. In fact, we had just gotten permanent residency in the States, which was a long, complicated, and expensive process.

But last Fall, Christina and I began sensing that change was on the horizon. There was this unsettledness in our hearts that couldn’t be explained. We loved everything about our lives in Nashville. Our community was incredible, our church was healthy and growing, our podcast was impacting marriages and families, and my work at LifeWay was affecting and changing church practice. I was also in the middle of writing my third book, while continuing to accept invitations to speak on my previous one. In other words, there was no human reason for us to move, or even consider a change—especially if you’re an Enneagram 3 like I am. In fact, I even heard some people remark that I had their dream job.

So you can probably anticipate how surprised I was when, only a few months later, Christina and I started praying about coming back to Beulah Alliance Church—especially since it was in the middle of an Edmonton winter (#ifyouknowyouknow). And to be crystal clear, this wasn’t some trite little “prayer” that we carelessly tossed up to God. No, this was one of those all-hands-on-deck, get-on-your-knees, everything-is-up-for-grabs, I-can’t-believe-I’m-actually-praying-this kind of prayer.

Here’s why it was one of those prayers.

When Keith Taylor, the Lead Pastor of Beulah for the last 28 years, asked us to pray about coming back, it wasn’t just to fill a gap. He had been asking God to unsettle the right person’s heart who was going to come alongside him and lead Beulah into the future.

Unsettle?

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3 Skills to Maximize Podcast Listening

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Malcolm Gladwell is famous for saying that it takes 10,000 hours to achieve world-class expertise in any skill.

Since first writing about the “10,000 Hour Rule” in his book, Outliers: The Story of Success in 2008, the theory has come under much debate. Now regardless of your viewpoint on the rule, the fact is, 10,000 hours is a lot of time. After spending that much time on one thing—while you may not be world-class or an expert—you’re probably half decent.

And if there’s anything I’ve spent 10,000 hours on, it’s probably podcasting.

I’ve listened for 10+ years, I’m a regular guest on others, and I co-host three:

  1. New Churches Q&A Podcast: Church Planting, Multisite, Multiplication, Leadership Development, and Discipleship
  2. 5 Leadership Questions Podcast: Leadership
  3. IMbetween Podcast: Marriage, Parenting, and Faith

Two years ago, I wrote an article on The Power of Podcasting. Last year, I wrote one entitled, Thinking of Starting a Podcast? Don’t! Until you read this…. So this year, I wanted to focus on the listener and offer you a few skills to maximize your podcast listening.

Skills to Maximize Podcast Listening:

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Top Quotes on Didn’t See It Coming by Carey Nieuwhof

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I’m not sure if there’s a more helpful and accessible voice for church leaders than Carey Nieuwhof.

His podcast is on point and his newest book, Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences distills some of his greatest insights into an easy to read book for all church leaders.

You’ve probably seen his book around, but if you haven’t had time to dig into it yet—or if you need a refresher—here are my favorite quotes.

  • “Cynicism begins not because you don’t care but because you do care.”
  • “What starts as self-preservation soon morphs into something more insidious. You become a bit jaded.”
  • “The problem with generalizing—applying on particular situation to all situations—is that the death of trust, hope, and belief is like a virus, infecting everything,”
  • “As you grow older, you become more of who you already are.”
  • “I realized that left unchecked, cynicism would win.”
  • “Cynicism is actually a choice.”
  • “Hope is one of cynicism’s first casualties.”
  • “An incredibly effective antidote to cynicism is curiosity. Yes, simple curiosity.”
  • “Feed your curiosity, and it grows. Starve it, and it withers.”
  • “You can’t wonder and discover when you’re in a hurry.”
  • “As young leader, I was convinced that competency was the key to success in life. My formula went like this: Competency determines capacity. The more competency you are, the greater your potential. The greater your potential, the greater your capacity…But a few years into my adult life, I began to notice highly competent people who became disqualified from leadership.”
  • “If competency doesn’t determine capacity, what does? Character does.”
  • “All the competency in the world can’t compensate for your lack of character. Ultimately, your character is your lid.”
“All the competency in the world can’t compensate for your lack of character. Ultimately, your character is your lid.” – @cnieuwhof

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  • “Character, not competency, determines capacity.”
  • “No matter how hard you try, you can’t escape you.“
  • “Compromise is in you, and life brings it out of you.”
  • “We judge ourselves by our intentions and other people by their actions.“

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The Enneagram, Leadership, and Knowing Yourself

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Knowing yourself has been a neglected and under-appreciated aspect of life and leadership for far too long.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about promoting yourself, nor am I advocating navel gazing either. I’m talking about knowing yourself—your strengths, weaknesses, passions in life, the way you react under stress, how you operate within a team, and on and on.

Knowing yourself has been a neglected and under-appreciated aspect of life and leadership for far too long.

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And while there seems to be a myriad of personality assessments for each and every one of those areas, what’s been missing is one that helps you identify your core motivations—the why behind it all.

Sure, the Myers Briggs might help you identify how you best recharge (introvert/extrovert), the StrengthsFinder might help you discern how you best approach tasks, and the Birkman might help you understand the best environment for you to work in, but what each of them miss is uncovering why you do what you do.

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The Truth Behind Fame

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“Studies say four minutes of uninterrupted eye contact increases intimacy.”

So we did it. For four minutes, Christina and I looked into each other’s eyes…and it went a lot better than the first time I did it with someone else. 

This someone else was a complete stranger—okay, maybe he wasn’t a complete stranger since I had met him a couple hours ago at a conference we were a part of—but that’s how it felt. And yes, it was incredibly awkward and I don’t recommend it, but I had no choice. At least he wasn’t a she. I couldn’t imagine doing this exercise with a woman who wasn’t my wife.

Nevertheless, after having gone through that deathly awkward experience where I felt inappropriately vulnerable with this stranger, I was interested to see how it would feel to do this exercise with my wife.

And I’m not being sarcastic here. I was actually excited to do this with my wife because I wanted to see what would happen. I was curious to see what I would feel and think during those four minutes of silence.

So we did it. For four minutes, we looked at each other in the eyes and here’s what I realized.

I don’t need other people to see me because I am already seen.

When Christina was looking at me in the eyes, I realized that it wasn’t because of anything I was doing. I wasn’t performing. I wasn’t speaking. I wasn’t podcasting. I wasn’t writing. I wasn’t teaching. I wasn’t leading.

I wasn’t doing anything—yet I was seen.

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