Daniel Im

Pastor + Author

Daniel Im

5 Steps to Being Missional

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Last post, I covered some important concepts on serving as a group, but today, I want to go a bit more in detail on being a group that extends and lives out the love of God–a group that is, as Jesus puts it–salt and light.

Evangelism is best done out of the context of a gospel community whose corporate life demonstrates the reality of the word that gave her life. – Tim Chester and Steve Timmis, Total Church

In this day and age, how do we tangibly tell others about the good news that has so shaped our lives? Out of love, we want to tell others about Jesus, but how do we do this in a way that doesn’t feel like we are shoving something down someone else’s throat? How do we appropriately engage others with the truth of the Gospel?

Here are five steps that will help us to better share about the wonderful hope that we have in Jesus Christ with our family, coworkers, neighbours, and friends.

1. Developing Trust

This is all about developing trusting relationships. After all, people don’t care what we have to say, unless they know that we care. This isn’t about trying to fake a trusting relationship, this is all about genuinely loving and caring for those around us so that trust is built up between us. This isn’t a bait and switch thing either, it’s simply about being a great friend. Doesn’t everyone need great friends whom they can trust and rely on? That’s what we need to do–be the best friend, coworker, neighbour, and family member that you can be. Why? Because that’s what Jesus would do, wouldn’t he?

2. Having Conversations and Living Life Together

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A New Paradigm on Serving

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Since we all understand “serving” differently, my goal in this article is to re-envision or redefine our understanding of serving. In a way, if our understanding of serving is a box, then instead of thinking outside of the box, I want to grab an eraser and give you a blank canvas.

So take a look at these two spectrums and self-analyze where you’re at personally and where your group is at in regards to serving:

The fact is, our lives are filled with opportunities to serve at every moment–and most of us are serving on a regular basis, without even knowing it.

  • i.e. When you choose to do those dishes, that’s an act of service.
  • i.e. When you choose to shovel your neighbor’s sidewalk as you do your own, that’s an act of service.
  • i.e. When you wave “thank you” while you are driving, rather than giving people another gesture, that’s an act of service.

However, especially in group life, serving has become a task, rather than a regular rhythm of our groups. Serving has become a task because we myopically view serving merely as a project that we do together, in a concerted effort, rather than something that we would do ourselves. It’s unnatural for us.

Now, I’m not saying, “Don’t get together to serve.”

What I am suggesting is that we admit that there are some inherent problems in service projects as we’ve come to know them.

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Living as a Missional Community

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One of the things that fascinates me about Jesus was that he was a masterful communicator. One of the ways that he loved to communicate was via word pictures.

Jesus loved to paint word pictures.

He did this because he knew that, through word pictures, we would be able to intrinsically understand and connect the truths that he was teaching us with our real lives today.

Two of the most powerful word pictures that he used to describe you and I were salt and light:

Matt 5:13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

Matt 5:14 “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

When we read these verses, we, in our western individualistic world views, think that he’s talking about you and I individually–that we are individually the salt of the earth and the light of the world. However, when you look at the original language, the word “you” is actually plural.

You (the community together) are the salt of the earth.

You (the community together) are the light of the world – a city on a hill.

You (the community together) are the body of Christ, and each of us is a part of it (1 Cor 12:27).

Jesus never intended any of us to journey through life alone. Faith is not a private thing, it’s a community thing. We each have our own relationship with God, but it is in the context of community that we live it out and grow.

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Cultivating Missional Community in the Summer

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Back when I lived in Edmonton, Canada, it was literally winter six months out of the year. We used to say that there were only two seasons in Edmonton: winter and construction. So you could guess my excitement for those blissful summer months where it didn’t take a century to get in and out of the house with all of our winter gear, and I could just walk out with flip-flops! For some, summer is about jumping into a pool, with no worries, timelines, or meetings. For others, summer is about hiking, biking, being outside, and enjoying God’s creation. And still for others, summer is about getting those honey-do lists done. In any case, as adults, summer vacation is usually a couple weeks long, and then we have to get back at it and put our noses to the grindstone.

Although we all love taking a break in the summer, and the natural rhythms of life dictate our need for one, the one thing that doesn’t stop over the summer is our need for community.

So here is that infamous question that every small group or missional community needs to ask over the summer, “To continue, or not?”

Here are a few of my suggestions:

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Two Ear Active Listening

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There’s this old episode from Everybody Loves Raymond where Debra (Ray’s wife) is scolding their daughter, Ally, because she ripped her brother’s giraffe. When Ray walks into the house, and sees that they’re fighting, he runs to the scene with joy exclaiming, “Oh great!”

“This is Michael’s giraffe and he’s crying, so why did you do it?” says Debra.

Ally responds back, with folded arms, and pursed lips, “Because!”

Debra then says, “Because is not an answer!”

It’s at this point, that Ray responds with, “Active listening. It works. I use it on the worst kids in the neighborhood!”

While the live audience is chuckling to themselves, Ray then goes on to coach his wife—in real time, while she’s trying to talk to Ally—by telling her how she needs to reflect back instead of accuse, while also be accepting, instead of judgmental.

Saying Versus Hearing

Active listening is one of those things that is often made fun of because it seems so elementary and basic. “Why should I repeat back exactly what the other person said? They heard themselves and so did I!” This is one of the common objections that people share while learning the skills of active listening. However, the fact of the matter is, just because something is said, doesn’t mean that we all hear it the same way.

We see this most with children—they are the best at selective listening. For example, we might say, “Go and clean up your room, before we get ice cream,” but they probably heard, “Blah, blah, blah, ice cream.” It’s reminiscent of Charlie Brown’s teacher, isn’t it? Or how about in meetings when someone is rattling off information that doesn’t relate at all with your area—how often do you remember what they say?

Most of us are better at selective listening, than we are at active listening…hence this article.

Active listening is about being fully attentive to the other person during a conversation. While it might require you to verbally reflect back what the person just said—“If I heard you correctly, you are trying to say…”—oftentimes you can convey that you’re listening with your body language as well.

After all, 93 percent of communication is “non-verbal” in nature, according to a UCLA study conducted by Dr. Mehrabian.

SOLER

Gerard Egan developed something called the SOLER theory in 1986 to easily describe the non-verbal techniques required for active listening. He defines SOLER as “micro-skills” that allow you to convey to the other party that you care for them and are present, without using words.

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