“I want to make my life count. I want to do big things for the kingdom. I only want to do things that have an eternal significance.”
Have you ever prayed such prayers? I know I definitely have.
In fact, when I was getting serious about my relationship with Christ, this is what I regularly prayed for because I wanted my life to count. I wanted to make a difference in this world. I didn’t want to live for what was temporal—my fame and my glory—but for what was eternal.
And the only way that I knew how to judge whether or not something was a “big thing” for the kingdom was by its size. This is what I thought:
- Small churches = small impact
- Small conferences = not significant
- Small platform = lack of the right gifting
Years later, after God broke me and stripped away everything I had, I realized my ambitions weren’t as pure as I made them out to be.
Sure, I said that I wanted to make a big impact for the kingdom, but that was contingent upon me making the big impact for God. Yes, I obviously wanted to do things that had an eternal significance, but only if I could share that eternal significance with God…